As my Turnitin submission had been corrupted my essay was not marked through the system. I therefore made notes from what was said in the one to one tutorial so that I could apply this to my essay and make the relevant and appropriate changes.
- Richard suggested how I needed to cut out as much of the 1st person talking at the start of the essay, it is too conversational and needs to have a more concise an formal opening.
- In my second para I start it by stating - 'Modernism is a very broad movement within art, design and architecture but also quite a reductive one'. This can be changed to 'arguably' a reductive one as people have different views regarding the matter.
I can then go on to comparing what the different people said about it ... X said this, B agreed, but C thinks it is too restrictive with its guidelines.
- He also picked up on how I had included references to modernist influenced examples for each sub-movement. Richard stated I should maybe include one large example of a specific contemporary piece of work where I can discuss more varied principles of modernism within.
- This would lead to more sources and quotes to support.
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